Two become One
At the beginning of the Bible in Genesis God speaks to Adam and Eve. Please remember Adam and Eve were not only the first humans but were the blueprint for the rest of humanity through the ages. God told them to ‘be fruitful and multiply'. This highlights the important role of sex and procreation in Christianity and humanity.
Dealing with guilt
I remember when, at the age of thirty, my wife and I first became Christians. We were both aware for the first time God the Father could see our every move and my wife said, ‘I feel a bit dirty when we do this, because He knows.'
My response was that He not only knows but he wants us to do it. He designed the whole human body including the pleasures of sex, including having babies and recreating the cycle of life.
What the Bible says
When Two Become One isn't just a lyric from a song. It was first mentioned in the Bible in Matthew Chapter 19 Verses 3 to 8.
3. The Pharisees also came to him, tempting him, and saying to him, ‘Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?'
4. And he answered and said to them, ‘Have you not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,'
5. And said, ‘For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall join to his wife: and the two shall become one flesh?'
6. ‘Why they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.'
7. They say to him, ‘Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorce, and to put her away?'
8. He said to them, ‘Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.'
Here we see God the Father's true intent for two to become one flesh and to stay together. And also, that the two are man and woman.
More than just sex
So why is it important in this day and age where sex is just another good feeling that two people enjoy? I want to explore the idea that two become one flesh.
When we have sex, something of ourselves is given to the other person. Not only are the sexual organs are enveloped into one but also our feelings our mind and part of our soul is also given to the other person. Our highest point of physical love and communication is the act of sexual intercourse.
So what happens if we have many partners and don't stay with any of them? We give away a part of our selves to each of the many partners leaving us running on empty and without true fulfilment. This unfulfilled feeling is like an addiction.
Let me give a little clarity: I had a small gambling addiction as a young man. The more money I spent in the slot machine the emptier I became in money and mood. I strived to beat that slot machine and get my money back. When I finally got some more money back, I was fulfilled for a moment but would continue to gamble and pour more money back into the machine. The only winner in that relationship were the owners of that machine. I sometimes lost a week's worth of wages, until I finally gave up, realising I was on the losing end of the relationship.
When we give ourselves to too many people without a true commitment the only loser is ourselves. We not only lose part of ourselves but we start to crave self and sexual fulfilment, the want of someone just giving something back, our emptiness craves fulfilment. We carry on until we are broken and empty, and feelings of being unloved become actions of not trusting anyone, where bitterness creeps into the soul. The once free and joyful feeling of casual sex becomes meaningless and hurtful.
I do not say this in theory alone but as a person who has over the years had many sexual partners. I have also had a long-term relationship of 31 years of marriage, I can honestly say the 31 years of marriage was more fulfilled than all of my other experiences.
Abstaining from sex
Let's explore the idea of abstaining from sex. If you are abstaining from sex because you've had too many unfulfilled relationships then I personally think this is healthy. If you cannot love yourself then how can you love others, or more importantly treat yourself with the worth of more than a one-night-stand or casual relationship?
If you are abstaining to be focused for a period in time, I also think this is healthy. Professional boxers do this before a bout, and Christians do this for a time to be focused on God. But if you have a vocation that requires you to abstain, I do not see the reason biblically or otherwise.
What about Jesus?
Jesus didn't have sex. If he did, he would have married and it would have been written about in the Bible. Does that mean that as Christians we shouldn't have sex? No, not at all.
There are offices in the spiritual realm and His office was God himself: to act and be as one with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Our own Christian office may be an evangelist or a prophet or one of the other many offices that are natural in the spiritual realm on earth. But none can fulfil that which Jesus did.
So, the idea a priesthood that abstains from marriage becomes unaligned with God and leads to undercover or hidden sex. This is where we read about priests taking advantage of their position of trust and using it to groom young people into having sex. This is an offence to God and he says in his Bible Matthew 18:6 - American King James Version (1999)
6. But whoever shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
Unfortunately, the religious church would rather keep its lie of being perfect and move such a man onto another community, where the offender is unknown and can offend again, than expose the person and themselves. These large religious houses need to deal with these non-biblical ways and put an end to them, but they choose to protect themselves rather than the innocent.
Being Gay and being Christian
As I am a heterosexual man so I have no qualification to write on behalf of the gay community and I'll keep it short. But much has been said about the laws and conditions of entering into the realm of heaven through Jesus Christ, here is my two-penny worth.
Jesus Christ loves you and being gay will not stop him from loving you and bringing you into his heavenly realm. Experiencing his natural spiritual love is the highest form of love any human can experience and nothing will stop him from seeking you. When all other love fails and when all other love stops, Jesus Christ is still there committed to you if you allow him to.
Summary
Sex makes everything complicated but it is both a beautiful thing and a fulfilling act when done with love and consideration for one another. I wish we were all perfect and had only one partner like Adam and Eve but we are not. We are flawed and we all get through life the best way we can. Sex is part of our life.
God knows who he brings into his kingdom and he knows us well. Don't let your flaws stop you from seeking him because he doesn't stop seeking you.